From My Heart ~ Lessons Learned from My 3 Year Old

Hello My Friends,

      It's hard to believe it, but we have completed our first month of therapy with Wesley! This program has been far more intense than I ever dreamed it would be. Things at our home have completely changed. Our grocery expenses for each week have nearly tripled (gulp!) to accommodate Wesley's dietary changes. I am more tired, and at times, more overwhelmed than I have ever been in my life! While we knew this program would be hard work, I think I underestimated the amount of dedication and patience that would be required of our family. I have had many tearful days. The mental, physical, and emotional toll has been greater than I anticipated, but the blessings have been greater than the trials! We have had some wonderful encourages and supporters!! God truly has shown me much about His ability and my inability this past month.

       I have also learned great lessons from my son during this past month. Wesley has taught me about the simplicity of a child. He has taught me to be simple. You know, all Wesley really wants is a home, some food, and love....and to play with his dog. That's it! He doesn't care about things. He doesn't have any special attachments or toys right now. He wants a place to live and sleep, food when he's hungry, and attention when he needs it. Just observing him has caused us to reevaluate some things about our lives and get rid of the excess. It's been such a precious experience. I wonder if I as a parent have been guilty of unknowingly teaching my children materialism? We have so much we don't need and yet are not always content that our true needs are met. Thank the Lord for His provision. Wesley has taught me to be home. Isn't that a weird statement? That is the only way I can think to describe it. Since we have begun Wesley's therapy, some things have been limited and some things have been completely removed from his daily routine. The things he has to focus on and pay attention to has been shifted. Again, we can reevaluate things we do in our home on a day to day basis and rethink some things. In today's society, we have access to so many things that can keep us from being home even while we are at home! Social media is great at that. Oh it has it's perks, but it can also be a slippery slope. Again, I wonder if I have been guilty of unknowingly putting an emphasis on these things in my home, by my own habits? Have I been influencing their priorities? I don't want my children to think that Facebook, Instagram, etc. are essential to life, that everything they do or we do as a family has to be posted, that we have to spend so much time engaged in social media. My husband and I want a different kind of emphasis in our home.

      Wesley's therapy is conducted 3 sessions a day, and any more that we can fit in, and 6 days a week. We take a break on Sunday, so we don't have to figure out how to fit everything in that day. I will admit that so many days I lay my head on my pillow at night and feel like a complete failure. The dishes go unwashed, the laundry still not folded or put away, and the house is a sight. I've learned that even though I do my best, most days I will still come up short, but some of those things can wait.   I wish I could do more and I wish I could be involved in more, but sometimes, I have to say "no". It won't be forever and I have to constantly remind myself that life won't always be as it is now, but it is difficult. This past week has been a struggle. Wesley has had a rough week. Things are starting to catch up with him and his brain and body are trying to adjust to it all. There have been days that he has whined and cried all day long, but he has pressed on. Though it has been hard, we have seen some improvements:
          - Attention span and focus are getting better.
          - He is listening and understanding better.
          - He's made good progress potty training.
          - He has figured out how to do some of his therapy on his own with just verbal prompts!!!
          - He has been eating better and wants to eat more!
          - He is sitting down for meals without a battle.
          - His eczema is much much better!
   
      A few days ago my husband and I were outside taking care of some yard work and Wesley was with us. Prior to beginning this program he would constantly walk off and wander off and wouldn't respond if we called his name to keep him near us and away from the road. We would often have to run after him and bring him back to where he needed to be. This past week he stayed right with us and if he started to walk off would come back immediately when called and without a fit!! That's huge for him and makes me feel a little safer while having him outside!!

      We praise the Lord for the progress we have seen and trust that God will continue to work on Wesley's behalf and continue to open up his understanding. We were told when we started this program that there would be days we would cry and want to quit and be fed up with it all, and we have definitely hit a few of those moments, but good things are happening! We will continue on and see what the Lord does. Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement, and again, if you would like to make a donation to help offset the cost of this therapy, please visit this link! http://www.gofundme.com/wesleyr

Many Blessings!
    Kara

     

"The Good Hand of My God Upon Me" ~ A Father's Perspective

Hello all,

   This is Jordan. Having just celebrated Father's Day, Kara and I thought it would be good for me to post something on the blog - something from a father's perspective. A little over three years ago on August 16th, 2011, a little blessing- and I mean little- came into our lives. He weighed in at a tiny six pounds and six ounces, and we named him Wesley. I was overwhelmed, over joyed, and just amazed that it had finally happened-- I had become a father. I remember the day he was born very well. The joy that comes over you as a father witnessing the birth of your child is indescribable. Only a few moments after he was born, thoughts started entering my mind. I think they go through every new father's mind. Thoughts of what will he become?; will he be the captain of his ball team one day/?; Will he go to college?; what kind of girl will he marry?; what kind of job will he have?; what kind of teenager will he be? Of course all of this along with "I hope I don't mess up my responsibility of being a father."

   If you have read Kara's posts you will know what we are trying to do for Wesley. We are praying that God will open his understanding, and that God will continue guiding us. Thinking about all that has happened in this situation, I think of the words of Nehemiah 2:8, 18 "...according to the good hand of my God upon me." God's hand has been so good upon Kara and I and our family. We think of how the Lord has guided us to this point, the divine appointments He has led us to, the way He has prepared Kara and I, and the way He has provided. God's hand is truly good upon us. He has not withheld any good thing from us. All I can say is that I am blessed! Truly our children are an heritage of the Lord. God has entrusted them to us. I look at this as a responsibility from the Lord and privilege from Him as well.  When we dedicated our first born Wesley to the Lord, we gave him back to the Lord to do with him whatever He wanted or desired for his life. God has not just chosen this path just for us, but for Wesley, as well as our two other children. We walk down this road together. As a father, I want the best for Wesley. I also want him to be the best that he can possibly be. God has given us His best as well. One day I hope to be able to tell our children that God's hand was good upon us, and if you will follow Him it will be good upon you and your family as well.

     I am a truly blessed man, undeservedly. As the song says "God's been good." I thank the Lord that we have this opportunity and responsibility to serve Him in this way. When Kara and I first started dating we wanted to take a verse and make it our life verse. She has a life verse for herself and I have a life verse for myself, but we wanted to find one that was "ours". The Lord led us to Psalm 48:13,14. Verse fourteen states that God will be our guide even unto death. We have tried to apply that every day to our life. To let God guide us in every decision, no matter how big or how small. God truly has done that. I am so thankful that I get to be Wesley, Evan, and Hutson's dad! I am so thankful that God has been good to us and that He is guiding us. So until the next time you come down our road may the hand of God be good upon you!

      Jordan

UPDATE: We are a little more than two weeks into Wesley's therapy and diet changes, and we have to say that he is cooperating phenomenally! He is doing far better than we thought he would. Though it is all new for him and things have changed tremendously around our home in the last couple weeks, he has taken on the changes and made great strides! We praise the Lord for the evidences of improvements we have already seen and trust that He will continue to do well as we press on with therapy!! Thank you for your prayers, and again, if you would like to help us out by making a donation towards the cost of Wesley's therapy, visit this link -  http://www.gofundme.com/wesleyr 

      Many Blessings!

           Kara

A Plan Set in Motion

      Our Goals:

      When my first post about Wesley's therapy started reaching friends and families, we were overwhelmed with love and encouragement and so many kind words! We were also somewhat overwhelmed by lots of questions, ideas, and suggestions that came our way. My husband and I have tried to use caution as we have dealt with this situation with Wesley. In today's world and the huge gravitation toward social media, privacy is often freely given up, but our children don't have a say in that! We wanted to be very careful and honor our son's privacy. We had decided to keep things quiet and private for the most part until we felt that we could answer questions that we knew would come up. I want to try to shed a little light on the direction we are going with Wesley's therapy and update you on things that have happened since the last post.
      Many people have asked and wondered why we have chosen to go through a program/center that is so far away from our home where there will be much traveling back and forth for appointments; why we have chosen something so costly, or something that insurance will not cover; and why we haven't used the local programs offered either privately or through the local schools. I could expound on each and everyone one of those legitimate questions, but for us, the answer is just this simple: we know that this is the direction the Lord has given us for our son. The end. I will admit to you, that this whole thing is entirely overwhelming to me at times, and it is not easy, but I also have full confidence in the Lord - that He has led us and will continue to do so, and it is all in His hands.
      The Brain Balance program works at strengthening the weaknesses in the brain that are responsible for developmental delays, missed milestones, learning disabilities, and much more. It focuses on the weaknesses, not the strengths. The brain and the body have to function together. When one side of the brain is weak, it cannot function in harmony with the other side and therefore the whole body is affected. Wesley's assessment showed that he has a weakness in the right hemisphere of his brain (a right brain weakness). The therapy and exercises we will be doing with him are geared toward strengthening that right side, so that it can function with the left side and the brain as a whole can begin to move forward. As a matter of fact, not just the therapy, but Wesley's way of life - diet, the structure of his day, things we allow and do not allow him to do - all are now focusing on strengthening that right side. Think of it like this: The body is a car, the brain is the engine, the left side is the gas and the right side is the break. With a right brain weakness, Wesley knows how to go and will always choose activities that feed the left side (the side that stores away his "likes"), but he has a hard time with the stopping. He can go, but he can't stop. The right side of his brain is not strong enough to transition him. Many of the activities and exercises involved in his therapy are things he does not prefer to do. He doesn't understand why he has to do things he doesn't want to do and why he can't do the things that he does want to do. This makes for some tough moments. I have become his in-home therapist of sorts as I am doing most of the therapy with him. There are some things that require extra hands and my husband helps with those as well. Even Evan, our 2 year old, helps us keep count and then excitedly tell us it's his turn after we have finished Wesley's exercises! :)
      At Wesley's last appointment, he had bloodwork drawn to test for food sensitivities (not to be confused with allergies) and things in his diet that may be affecting the function of his brain. Sensitivities can cause brain fog, fatigue, leaky gut, inflammation, digestive issues, etc...can you see how these might impact his therapy?! Wesley's test results showed that he is sensitive to 34 foods ON TOP OF gluten and sugar!!! Goodness! Now with so many foods to eliminate from his diet and a complete menu reworking going on, we are out to work at this right brain strengthening from every angle! Yesterday was Wesley's first official day gluten free. I knew for some time he would probably have to eliminate gluten and dairy from his diet for this program, and it is easy to say and think about, but trying to give him adequate nutrition as well as eliminate the things he cannot have is a whole new world for me and a confusing one at that! I've learned that Wesley has some texture and sensory preferences when it comes to food, so I feel as if we are at the bottom of a huge mountain here. We are working at it, but this is definitely a change and a challenge!
      We have reached a little over 12% of the funds we need to raise for Wesley's therapy. So many people have been so kind and so gracious and so encouraging. We still have a good bit to raise and we are working at various way to raise these funds. If you would like to make a donation, please check out our gofundme account http://www.gofundme.com/wesleyr -Any help is much appreciated but prayer is most needed! Dealing with this type of thing, we are told that things will get harder and worse before they get better. Developmental and behavioral swings will come up along the way. We are going through with God, and asking the Lord for much grace and wisdom and strength and showers of blessings on our sweet little boy!

Many Blessings,
     Kara Rodgers :)

Our Journey Begins - "We Can Help Him!"

Hello Friends and Family!
      
     We are so blessed! God has been so good to us during our nearly 5 years of marriage and blessed us with three wonderful boys: 3 year old Wesley, 2 year old Evan, and 7 month old Hutson. My husband and I truly have been amazed at how these three little fellas have filled our days with so much joy...and dirt...and noise, but we don't mind! We are just thrilled to death to have them! I am beginning this blog to keep interested friends and families updated on how things are going "down our road", and with the hope that in some way I can be an encouragement to other mothers and family members of those who are dealing with some of the same things we are...
      You see, recently our oldest son Wesley was diagnosed with Developmental Delay. We have known for a while that things were difficult for him. He is not able to say full words correctly and some sounds are even very difficult for him. Communication is a real struggle. Wesley also has trouble with attention span and focus. Honestly, regarding that, we initially thought that he was just being a typical three year old boy, but it didn't take too long to realize that those things were difficult for him for reasons beyond his control and beyond our comprehension. A host of other issues were beginning to surface as well. Just before our youngest son was born we began looking into speech therapy for Wesley. We thought that if we could help him expand his vocabulary and learn how to better express himself and communicate, things would be better, but this was not all he needed. We were directed to have his hearing tested to rule out any possibility of hearing loss or hearing related issues. After being tested three separate times and all of the tests pointing the same direction, Wesley was cleared of any hearing issues...yay!!... but now what? There seemed to be no significant explanation for some of the struggles he was having. Our questions that we had were often referred to another person, then another, and then another and the circle continued. In the mean time, we watched our sons development stop, and had no answers as to why or what we could do for him. For me personally, as a mom, there is nothing more difficult than knowing my child has a need and I cannot care for it, but that was exactly where I was finding myself. Hopeless and helpless.
      Our next step was to have a psychological evaluation and developmental assessment done. Those four words terrified me and still make my stomach turn. If there was a physical problem, there could be some sort of operation or medical appointment and my son could be "fixed." If it was psychological issues...I couldn't fix that. These assessments took more time than I wanted them too. I know things must run their course and it's all a process, but I was growing impatient. My 2 year old had far surpassed my 3 year old in development and speech, as well as cognitive skills. Why wasn't Wesley progressing? What was causing it? Would this be forever? Too many questions and too much of a burden. I'm so thankful I have a Heavenly Father who has promised to bear all of my burdens. Can I say that this journey would be impossible without His grace, guidance, and peace! He is so good! The evaluation and assessment determined that Wesley was functioning on the level of a 17 month old, that he was Developmentally Delayed, and that he had a learning disability, and that was that. No other advice. No other suggestions. No other help. He was assigned to a local elementary school to begin special education and begin the long, slow process of getting help. In my heart, I knew that Wesley needed something else. I was glad to finally, after 7 months of tests and assessments and dead ends, be able to get him some help; however I felt like the help he was getting was not geared toward the source of the problem. With these issues, many want to look at the symptoms and not the source. We wanted to get at the source, but didn't know what else to do.
     One evening a couple of months ago, my 2 year old was having a rough day at church in his nursery. He's little Mr. Personality and never has rough days like he was having. It was very unusual. I had decided to sit with him in his room that evening while he calmed down, and while I was there, the Lord had a divine appointment for me. I met a lady working in that nursery who knew of a little girl almost Wesley's age who had dealt with nearly everything he had been dealing with. She explained to me a little about what her parents had done to help her, and immediately I knew why my son Evan was having a rough night and why I was in that room with him with that kind lady. The Lord knew I needed encouragement that day. I was mess and felt like crying all day. Wesley's situation really had me down and was weighing heavy on my heart. 
     That night I learned about Brain Balance Achievement Centers, where Wesley is now enrolled and will soon begin therapy. After having had so many unanswered questions and so many discouraging appointments. It was BEYOND WONDERFUL to have someone look at me and say, "we can help him!" - They knew what was going on in my sweet little boy's world! They could tell me why he was struggling and what was causing it!! The greatest thing my husband and I walked away with from our first appointment at Brain Balance was knowing that they took a personal interest in Wesley. They loved him! It brought tears to my eyes to see them interact with him and care for him. We weren't a number, an appointment, or a statistic to them. There was no "label." He's important to them! I will explain more in my next post about Brain Balance and exactly what they are all about. I will also post updates here as our journey helping Wesley continues. This will be the easiest way for us.
    Please read and share this post. We need this post to reach as many people as possible. We are currently seeking to raise the funds for Wesley's therapy program costs as well as travel expenses. This center is located in Cincinnati, Ohio and we will be traveling back and forth often for check ups and appointments. We will also be beginning some supplemental and nutritional changes to Wesley's diet as part of his therapy program. Our prayer is that God will touch many hearts to help us both prayerfully and financially. Most of Wesley's therapy will be done by me (the mom! :) in our home, but getting Wesley the help he truly needs comes at a great cost which is not covered by insurance. We will do everything it takes to help our son. We will travel to the ends of the earth if need be, and if you're a parent reading this, you know exactly how I feel, because if you were in my shoes, you would do the same for your child. We are praying Wesley's story reaches many hearts and encourages others to keep the joy and continue on! Please consider a donation to help us help our son! Visit: http://www.gofundme.com/wesleyr

Many Blessings,
   Kara Rodgers :)